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What is Counseling?
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 These notes have been prepared to inform prospective clients as to what counselling is and when it might be useful, They have been written also in the belief that realistic expectations from well informed recipients of counselling contribute to the maintenance of high standards in those who give counselling.
There are times in most of our lives when we experience distressing events and feelings which seem to have no end or solution in sight. Sometimes we know that our feelings are due to particular circumstances such as marital stress, relationship problems, bereavement or illness, at others we may have no idea what is making us feel the way we do; all we know is that our lives have become uncomfortable, difficult or even seemingly intolerable.
If our anxiety becomes too great we can be prompted into making hasty decisions, often to be regretted, or act on advice with which we may not be wholeheartedly in agreement – and then have to live with the consequences. Counselling can help people to clarify their thoughts and feelings so they can arrive at their own decisions, or even make major changes in their lives.
It is essentially a lively, human and personal experience between two people. Therefore it is a process which requires commitment of time and effort from both parties. The aim is to help you find your own answers and to become more in charge of your own life rather than less so; to live your life rather than be lived by it.
Counselling is different from other kinds of help where you can become, appropriately at times, the object of diagnosis or assessment and are then told what to do. Good objective listening is the basis of all counselling. This kind of listening to all aspects of your situation can help you discover more about yourself; your strengths and weaknesses, values and priorities, and not only find you own solutions but also carry them out; to take some action for yourself.
Counselling is not an easy process because it often entails digging below the surface and talking about things we feel uncomfortable about and tend to push aside in everyday life. Although disturbing, it can also be a relief to air half buried ideas and feelings. It might be helpful to think of counselling as an opportunity to take risks that we are not usually able to do in our day to day lives because it might seem bizarre or silly. Ideas, thoughts, feelings that others, or even part of ourselves, disapprove of can be aired, explored and contemplated in the counselling room. Not only is such thinking perfectly acceptable but is necessary if we are to gain deeper understanding of ourselves and more meaning to our lives. A counsellor will not try and minimise problems and will respect any efforts that have been made to try and work things out. Whatever the nature of the problem revealed, no judgement is made and absolute confidentiality is maintained. A counsellor will support you during this time and also point out other possible sources of help should that be necessary. Counselling does not claim to be the answer to all human difficulties, but it does offer the opportunity for people to explore different ways of looking at their lives and move towards more effective way of coping.
So whoever you are; whatever you age; whatever the situation or problem you are facing; whether you are worried, depressed, confused, feeling bad about yourself, coping with unexpected change or crisis or just wanting to make some changes in your life, it can be helpful to talk thing over, in confidence, with an understanding and well trained 'outsider'.
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